tennis parent education + resources

MAY 2025

Richard Williams famously once said 'tennis parents should be shot', a frustrated comment at the toxicity that the junior tennis tournament environment can sometimes create.

The subject of parent coaches or very pushy parents during childhood is a sticky one, that tends to be uncomfortable to discuss and therefore avoided. Not here!

To be really good, you have to play a lot from a young age. Yet nobody at a young age has the maturity or the life experience to make a clear decision to dedicate so much time to training and competing, so one or both parents will make that decision for them, and manage it for 10+ years.

Some of these kids love their tennis, some hate it. Some seem to naturally take to competing, but most struggle to handle the pressures and stress that it creates.

When the child becomes a teenager, their tennis journey can provide a safe space, a constant in their lives that makes the process of going through adolescence a little easier. It can also be the time that they rebel, and start pushing back against their tennis schedule and commitment. If they fear disappointment/rejection of the parent for doing so, they may internalise these feelings for many years, adding to an already challenging stage of their life, and perhaps leading to challenges with their mental health in their adult years.

Current Top 100 player Aleksander Kovacevic, recently said "I hated tennis, especially when I was a kid, it’s still a love-hate relationship. Tennis can take you to very dark places". Former player and legend of the game Andre Agassi is famous for saying how much he hated tennis throughout his childhood and early part of his career.

On the flip side however, you might get a teenager who discovers a love for tennis, and then resents their parents for NOT pushing them really hard when they were younger, as now they can't catch up with the players who WERE pushed from a young age.

It's not an easy situation to manage, but what you definitely don't want, is your child saying what current Top 100 player (and former Top 20) Alexander Bublik said in February 2025:

"My father was my coach, it killed our relationship. We stopped being father and son and became coach and student. When we ended that cooperation, there was nothing left between us. I can’t say I’m sad about it, it was important to maintain a good relationship at the time, now it’s not possible.”

This is a sad quote to read, because there is no relationship more precious in life than a parent/child relationship.  

A passionate, dedicated and driven parent is usually a factor when a child develops into a very high level tennis player, so it can often be necessary, but being a Mum or a Dad is already a full-time role, so how do you also take on such an intense long-term responsibility to drive your child's tennis forwards without risking harm to that precious parent/child bond?

It's not easy, especially when every tennis parent/child relationship is uniquely different. The ways to get it right will vary in every case, depending on the two unique personalities involved.

However, there's just one golden rule that if followed, should act to ensure that no damage to the long-term future of the relationship can occur.

THE GOLDEN RULE:

Always maintain an environment where your child feels completely comfortable to express their truest feelings to you, no matter what they might be. Never judge what they say, and always keep the dialogue open until you fully understand what they are expressing to you. Then work together to find solutions to any problems.

The relationship will spiral one way or the other based on the golden rule. Reacting to your child's truest feelings the right way will maintain the environment where your child feels free to express themselves without inhibition. React the wrong way, and soon your child will start to pretend, lie, and bottle up their feelings, which will lead down an increasingly toxic and potentially damaging path.

What about Andre Agassi, who famously hated being pushed so hard by his Dad, but ended up being thankful to him for the opportunities that his tennis career gave him? If Mike Agassi had listened to his son and eased up on his training, we'd never know who Andre was.

I think you can follow the golden rule at the same time as making clear your values and reasoning.

For example: Parent to the child: I believe pursuing tennis to a very high level will teach you so many valuable life lessons, and will form an important part of your overall education, so I'm going to push you, and at times I'll push you hard, BUT I will always listen to you, so don't ever feel you can't be totally honest with me about how you're feeling about it.

Now you have a parent who is in tune with their child, and willing to understand them, AND a child who now understands why the parent is doing what they are doing. Nothing is healthier than two people who fully understand each other, and it can also be a pretty good platform to achieve great things.

The second rule: 

Look, if you follow the golden rule, that's all that matters. However, the second rule will take some pressure off you, allow you to take a healthy step back here and there, and in turn will make following the golden rule easier.

The second rule is to delegate as much as you can to professional coaches. We know that your role as tennis parent is vitally important no matter how hands on or hands off you are. We also know our stuff, and will take care of whatever you want and need us to take care of, whilst giving you professional advice when you ask for it or need it.

Good luck!

By the way, I think everyone is aware of Richard Williams and his tennis parenting role with Venus and Serena, through the film King Richard. However, many don't know that Richard Williams wrote a fantastic memoir, published in 2014, called 'Black and White, the way I see it'. It's a fascinating read, and provides further insight to the incredible journey that he went on with his daughter's.