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the most precious human relationship any of us will have!
Protecting the parent/child relationship whilst supporting them to pursue sport to a high level
MAY 2025
Richard Williams famously once said 'tennis parents should be shot', a frustrated comment at the toxicity that the junior tennis tournament environment can sometimes create.
The subject of parent coaches or very pushy parents during childhood is a sticky one, that tends to be uncomfortable to discuss and therefore avoided. Not here!
To be really good, you have to play a lot from a young age. Yet nobody at a young age has the maturity or the life experience to make a clear decision to dedicate so much time to training and competing, so one or both parents will make that decision for them, and manage it for 10+ years.
Some of these kids love their tennis, some hate it. Some seem to naturally take to competing, but most struggle to handle the pressures and stress that it creates.
When the child becomes a teenager, their tennis journey can provide a safe space, a constant in their lives that makes the process of going through adolescence a little easier. It can also be the time that they rebel, and start pushing back against their tennis schedule and commitment. If they fear disappointment/rejection of the parent for doing so, they may internalise these feelings for many years, adding to an already challenging stage of their life, and perhaps leading to challenges with their mental health in their adult years.
Current Top 100 player Aleksander Kovacevic, recently said "I hated tennis, especially when I was a kid, it’s still a love-hate relationship. Tennis can take you to very dark places". Former player and legend of the game Andre Agassi is famous for saying how much he hated tennis throughout his childhood and early part of his career.
On the flip side however, you might get a teenager who discovers a love for tennis, and then resents their parents for NOT pushing them really hard when they were younger, as now they can't catch up with the players who WERE pushed from a young age.
It's not an easy situation to manage, but what you definitely don't want, is your child saying what current Top 10 player Alexander Bublik said in February 2025:
"My father was my coach, it killed our relationship. We stopped being father and son and became coach and student. When we ended that cooperation, there was nothing left between us. I can’t say I’m sad about it, it was important to maintain a good relationship at the time, now it’s not possible.”
This is a sad quote to read, because there is no relationship more precious in life than a parent/child relationship.
A passionate, dedicated and driven parent is usually a factor when a child develops into a very high level tennis player, so it can often be necessary, but being a Mum or a Dad is already a full-time role, so how do you also take on such an intense long-term responsibility to drive your child's tennis forwards without risking harm to that precious parent/child bond?
It's not easy, especially when every tennis parent/child relationship is uniquely different. The ways to get it right will vary in every case, depending on the two unique personalities involved.
However, there's just one golden rule that if followed, should act to ensure that no damage to the long-term future of the relationship can occur.
THE GOLDEN RULE:
Always maintain an environment where your child feels completely comfortable to express their truest feelings to you, no matter what they might be. Never judge what they say, and always keep the dialogue open until you fully understand what they are expressing to you. Then work together to find solutions to any problems.
The relationship will spiral one way or the other based on the golden rule. Reacting to your child's truest feelings the right way will maintain the environment where your child feels free to express themselves without inhibition. React the wrong way, and soon your child will start to pretend, lie, and bottle up their feelings, which will lead down an increasingly toxic and potentially damaging path.
What about Andre Agassi, who famously hated being pushed so hard by his Dad, but ended up being thankful to him for the opportunities that his tennis career gave him? If Mike Agassi had listened to his son and eased up on his training, we'd never know who Andre was.
I think you can follow the golden rule at the same time as making clear your values and reasoning.
For example: Parent to the child: I believe pursuing tennis to a very high level will teach you so many valuable life lessons, and will form an important part of your overall education, so I'm going to push you, and at times I'll push you hard, BUT I will always listen to you, so don't ever feel you can't be totally honest with me about how you're feeling about it.
Now you have a parent who is in tune with their child, and willing to understand them, AND a child who now understands why the parent is doing what they are doing. Nothing is healthier than two people who fully understand each other, and it can also be a pretty good platform to achieve great things.
The second rule:
Look, if you follow the golden rule, that's all that matters. However, the second rule will take some pressure off you, allow you to take a healthy step back here and there, and in turn will make following the golden rule easier.
The second rule is to delegate as much as you can to professional coaches. We know that your role as tennis parent is vitally important no matter how hands on or hands off you are. We also know our stuff, and will take care of whatever you want and need us to take care of, whilst giving you professional advice when you ask for it or need it.
Good luck!
By the way, I think everyone is aware of Richard Williams and his tennis parenting role with Venus and Serena, through the film King Richard. However, many don't know that Richard Williams wrote a fantastic memoir, published in 2014, called 'Black and White, the way I see it'. It's a fascinating read, and provides further insight to the incredible journey that he went on with his daughter's.
Richard Williams: Tennis parenting genius?
HOW to make it in tennis!
Proof that being a No.1 ranked UK junior at any age is a poor indicator of future success!
What does current World No.62 and British No.3 Jacob Fearnley, have in common with 11 other current/former pro's and non pro's who's names you'll never have heard of?
SEPTEMBER 2025
Here are the names of those 11 other tennis players: Destinee Martins, Indianna Spink, Lauryn John-Baptiste, Jasmine Amber-Asghar, Brigit Folland, Georgia Craven, Adam Bolchover, Barnaby Smith, Daniel Little, Robert Mitchell, and Alexander Gasson.
Go on, have a guess before you read the answer! The answer is: At the exact same point in time, they were all ranked No.1 in the UK in their junior age group category! That point in time was October 2011, for which I just happen to have the full ranking data for every junior player in the UK. It was sent to me by mistake! Glad I held onto it though!
I’ll come back to those other 11 and tell you where their tennis went since 2011, but we don’t have to go too far down the rankings to find some recognisable names. Jacob Fearnley was No.1 ranked in the U10 Boys, and at No.2 was Jack Draper! And whilst Indianna Spink was the No.1 ranked U9 girl at that time, at No.2 was Emma Raducanu!
From 12 age categories (U18, U16, U14, U12, U10, U9 boys and girls), which basically covers players with a current age in 2025 of between 23 and 32, when you scroll down the Top 10, it’s amazing how many players I’ve never heard of. Of 120 players, I only recognise a further 7 (Finn Bass, Jodie Burrage, Harry Wendelken, Katie Swan, Sonay Kartal, Anton Matusevich, and Jay Clarke).
Whilst most current British pro’s names can be found in the top 40 of their age groups, there are a few outliers, and most of those can definitely be explained by not playing very many tournaments at the time. Katie Boulter doesn’t even feature due to inactivity, but still playing at national level when she did play.
Billy Harris is worth a mention, who aged 16y10m, was ranked 724 in the UK for U18 Boys. He spent the next 6 years making little impression on the British Tour, semi-final was his best result. From 2015, he also started playing endless Futures tournaments (including 34 in 2017 alone), travelling around Europe in a transit van with a bed in the back, but again made little impression, and by Covid, he hadn’t gone further than semi-final in a Futures either. In 2019, whilst recovering from injury, he was playing Grade 3 doubles tournaments! He only won 3 out of 4 of them. In 2021, at the age of 26 he won his first Futures tournament, and broke into the Top 500 for the first time. In 2024, he reached a career high of 101 and played at all 4 Grand Slams. Currently aged 30, and ranked 131, he continues his remarkable journey of commitment and dedication to tennis, supported by his coach and No.1 fan, his Dad.
Just because you were best in the country in your junior years, doesn’t mean you’ll make it as a senior, and vice versa. However, as a rough guide, players need to be in the draw of Grade 1 events at U14’s to have the necessary ability platform to have a crack at playing on the ATP or WTA tours one day.
Let’s take a look at what happened to all those No.1 ranked players as juniors:
Jacob Fearrnley (2011 No.1 ranked U10 boy in the UK): Broke onto the ATP Tour at the start of this year, and is firmly in the Top 100.
Destinee Martins (2011 No.1 ranked U10 girl in the UK): Played 31 matches on the ITF Pro tour between 2018 and 2023, but never gained a world ranking.
Adam Bolchover (2011 No.1 ranked U9 boy in the UK): Stayed at national level for a few years, then carried on playing junior tournaments (mostly G3’s) until around age 17, hasn’t played an official tournament/league match since 2021, and never played a pro tour match.
Indianna Spink (2011 No.1 ranked U9 girl in the UK): Played a few ITF Pro events in the UK from 2019 to 2024, and this year, aged 22, has played 13 tournaments and is currently 6 places off her career high ranking of 947.
Barnaby Smith (2011 No.1 ranked U12 boy in the UK): Played 100 matches (almost all on the Futures Tour) between 2015-2020, and then came back in 2024 and played 4 matches in 2 tournaments, aged 26. His career high ranking to date is 1381.
Lauryn John-Baptiste (2011 No.1 ranked U12 girl in the UK): Played on the ITF Pro Tour in 2016 and 2017, then came back in 2021 and has been playing regularly ever since. She’s currently 26 years old, ranked 1157, but has a career high of 785.
Daniel Little (2011 No.1 ranked U14 boy in the UK): Only started playing regular Futures Tour events from 2019, at the age of 22, and peaked around 2022/23 with a career high ranking of 564. He’s currently unranked, but at age 28, did play 3 Future’s this year in 2025 (losing 1st round every time).
Jasmine Amber-Asghar (2011 No.1 ranked U14 girl in the UK): Became U18 Girls National Champion in 2014. Played ITF Pro Tour events between 2012 and 2019, mostly in the UK, reaching a career high ranking of 1042. Re-emerged in 2025, playing in the Surrey Women’s doubles league for New Malden Tennis Club!
Robert Mitchell (2011 No.1 ranked U16 boy in the UK): Only ever played 2 matches on the Futures Tour and never had a world ranking. Having been inactive for 12 years, he came back last winter and won the Surrey Mens Doubles knock-out tournament!
Brigit Folland (2011 No.1 ranked U16 girl in the UK): Played 28 matches on the ITF Pro Tour between 2010 and 2015, but never achieved a world ranking. Has been inactive since 2015.
Alexander Gasson (2011 No.1 ranked U18 boy in the UK): Played most of his 41 Futures Tour matches in 2012 and 2013, but never achieved a world ranking. Has been inactive since 2015, except a couple of 1st round qualifying losses in Futures tournaments in 2017 and 2018 respectively, both in Florida.
Georgia Craven (2011 No.1 ranked U18 girl in the UK): Played 52 matches on the Futures Pro Tour between 2010 and 2014, but never achieved a world ranking. Since 2019, she’s only played in her club’s annual tournament at Cumberland, which she plays every year, but has only ever picked up one women’s doubles title.
It was fun and interesting doing the research for this piece, and it begs the obvious question that if being ranked UK No.1 at some point in juniors is such a poor predictor of a future successful pro career, then what is a good one?
We know there is only one stand-out ingredient, which is an obsessive inner-drive to succeed in the sport, basically an addiction to tennis, coupled with a strong desire to keep improving. This can be difficult to measure in junior players, and can grow stronger or weaker over time. Without them, and given the brutal nature and very high level of lower level pro tennis, surely it’s not possible to get there. These players on the tour are all animals, obsessed with tennis, and with competing and improving, even those down in the 200’s and 300’s.
Because they’re animals, they don’t give up easily. If they’ve been successful, many still have the hunger and drive to keep playing into their late 30’s and beyond. Benoit Paire reached a career high ranking of 18, but in 2025 at age 36, he’s played 15 lower level tournaments despite having a ranking of 680. Stan Wawrinka has been ranked No.3 and has won the US Open and French Open, but is still playing at age 40, happy to play lower level tournaments in far flung locations to try and keep his ranking going, currently 129. Venus Williams came back on the tour at age 45 this summer, competing well in singles, and making ¼ finals of the US Open doubles. Then there’s Kimiko Date who retired in 1996, but decided to come back in 2008 aged 37, starting right at the bottom and working her way back up the rankings, and then spending 4 years playing all the biggest tournaments whilst aged 40-44!
If they haven’t been successful, they are still just as insatiable to keep going. Just look at Billy Harris, and also my friend Marcus Willis, who reached a career high in singles of 322 (though did enjoy a career highlight 2nd round match on Centre Court with Roger Federer!), but now at 34 has re-invented himself as a doubles player (of which he has a lot of skill for), and has cracked the Top 100 for the first time this year, and played the US Open for the first time a few weeks ago, reaching the 3rd round, and just loving life!
One of my favourite past players is Victor Estrella Burgos, only 5 ft 6 inches tall, from the Dominican Republic. He played the Futures Tour for 5 years, and then 4 years a mixture of Futures and Challengers, and then 3 years a mixture of challengers and ATP qualifiers, and then suddenly, at the age of 34, he got into an ATP event in Ecuador, and won it, giving him a Top 100 ranking for the first time. He won the same event the next 2 years, played all the Grand Slams and peaked at a ranking of 43, before finally calling it quits at age 39 at a Challenger in his home country.
I could write an entire book of examples of players who keep going, no matter what they’ve already achieved, happy to keep living out of a suitcase to get their next fix of competitive tennis. Also, for those who are still trying to make it, finding the cash to keep funding their addiction to tennis, turning up at tournaments not knowing if they will get in, and putting themselves through the mental and physical toll that high level tennis inflicts on the mind and body.
As well as being addicted to tennis, we also know that quality coaching, a genuine love for the game, appropriate support and guidance, parental commitment, and some financial backing, are powerful secondary drivers of success too.
If you’re not hopelessly and totally addicted to tennis, that is very much OK! You won’t be playing at pro level, but tennis is a beautiful sport, and any player of any age who goes on a tennis journey at any level can potentially have the time of their lives and learn so much about the sport and about life!
